Gleanings from a Book: “Raising Them Right” by St. Theophan the Recluse

St. Theophan the Recluse may have lived a reclusive life, but his was a life of prayer and asceticism, and that closeness to God granted him much wisdom. His writings and teachings have been recorded, preserved, and translated from the Russian so that we are able to read them and learn from them. “Raising them Right” is a collection of his writings and teachings for and about young people, intended for youth and those who raise or teach them. It is a small but powerful collection of teachings.

“Raising them Right” begins with a few pages telling about the life of St. Theophan the Recluse. That is followed by 7 chapters of his teachings: “The Christian Adult”, “Baptism: the Adult and the Child”, “The Developing Child”, “Forming Attitudes”, “The Years of Youth”, “Understanding a Young Person”, and finally “Preserving God’s Grace”. Each chapter contains timeless wisdom. Even though St. Theophan was born more than 200 years ago, his words are applicable to adults and children today.

This book is small but helpful. We recommend that parents and teachers alike read it, ponder its words, and allow St. Theophan to help us in our task of raising children. As we learn, may we, indeed, raise the next generation of Orthodox Christians right.


St. Theophan, please pray for us and for the children in our care.

Purchase “Raising Them Right” here: The ebook and audiobook will soon be available, as well.

Here are a few gleanings from the book. We found these short selections encouraging and/or challenging for parents:

“An enemy hates an enemy not only personally, but he hates also relatives and friends of this enemy, and even his belongings, his favorite color, and in general anything that might remind one of him. So also, true zeal to please God persecutes sin in its smallest reminders or marks, for it is zealous for perfect purity. If this is not present, how much impurity can hide in the heart!” (p. 18, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“Christian life is not natural life. This should be the way it begins or is first aroused: as in a seed, growth is aroused when moisture and warmth penetrate to the sprout which is hidden within, and through these the all-restoring power of life comes; so also in us, the divine life is aroused when the Spirit of God penetrates

into the heart and places there the beginning of life according to the Spirit, and cleanses and gathers into one the darkened and broken features of the image of God.” (p. 20, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“…if you desire to begin to live in a Christian way, seek grace. The minute when grace descends and joins itself
to your will is the minute when the Christian life is born in you—powerful, firm, and greatly fruitful.” (p. 24, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“It goes without saying that after the baptism of the infant a very important matter stands before the parents and the sponsors: how to lead the baptized one so that when he comes to awareness he might recognize the grace-given powers within himself and accept them with a joyful desire, together with the obligations and way of life which they demand. This places one face to face with the question of Christian upbringing, or the upbringing which is in accordance with the demands of the grace of baptism and has as its aim the preservation of this grace.” (p. 30-31, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“…the spirit of faith and piety of the parents should be regarded as the most powerful means for the preservation, upbringing, and strengthening of the life of grace in children.” (p. 35, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“It is necessary that in the gaze of the parents there should be not only love, which is so natural, but also the faith that in their arms there is something more than a simple child. The parents must have the hope that He who gave them this treasure under their watch as a vessel of grace might furnish them also with sufficient means to preserve him. Finally, there should be ceaseless prayer performed in the spirit, aroused by hope according to faith.” (p. 37, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“Parents often speak among themselves; children overhear and almost always assimilate not only the ideas, but even turns of speech and gestures… Let parents talk with their children and explain to them either directly or, best of all, by means of stories… Or let them ask the children what they think of one thing or another, and then correct their mistakes. In a short time, by this simple means, one may communicate sound principles for judging about things, and these principles will not be erased for a long time, and may remain for life.” (pp 50-51, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“While accustoming a child not to do his own will, one must also train him to do good. For this, let the parents themselves furnish a fine example of good life and acquaint their children with people whose chief concerns are not pleasures and awards, but the salvation of the soul. Children love to imitate. How early they learn to copy a mother or father!” (p.53, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“The earlier the fear of God will be imprinted and prayer aroused, the more solid will piety be for the rest of one’s life.” (p. 55, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“What frost is for flowers, so is the transgression of the parents’ will for a child; he cannot look you in the eyes, he does not desire to enjoy kindnesses, he wishes to run away and be alone; but at the same time his soul becomes crude, and the child begins to grow wild. It is a good thing to dispose him ahead of time to repentance, so that without fear, with trust and with tears, he might come and say, ‘I did something wrong.’” (p. 56, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)


“The state in which we emerge out of the years of youth depends a great deal upon the state in which we enter into them. Water falling from a cliff foams and swirls below, but then it goes its quiet way in various courses. This is an image of youth, into which everyone is thrown as water into a waterfall. From it there come out two kinds of people: some shine with virtue and nobility, while others are darkened by impiety and a corrupt life.” (p. 66, “Raising Them Right,” by St. Theophan the Recluse)




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